when i hit shuffle, iTunes immediately launches into "i dreamed a dream," Fantine's hard luck song from Les Miserables. i already know i'm in for it.
the next song is "black is the colour of my true love's hair" (Nina Simone). it's followed by "sweet dreams" by Patsy Cline.
my gut is throbbing and my shoulders are sagging. i'm still unable to go a single day without some intense thought about him. anger, sorrow, pity, confusion...
and i'm thinking.
and thinking.
and grinding.
and churning.
and then i hear the choir ushering in "you can't always get what you want" by the Rolling Stones.
i can't help but laugh.
i laugh at iTunes and i laugh at me and i laugh at him and i laugh at the world. i laugh it all off and thrust my hips around the apartment.
the shuffle demon rewards me by playing "bus to beelzebub" by Soul Coughing. i laugh some more and jump jump jump, flailing my hair and arms around. the KLF confirm that the mood is broken: it's going to be a good day.
life really is quite amusing and wonderful.
despite itself...
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